God has shown my husband and I that He is never going to fail us….God has shown us this time and time again, from the best of days to the worst of days… and you know that? That is what I love about my God, because He never fails us, and He always loves us and provides for us… and I have truly learned the meaning of this the past 9 months of being disable and faced with physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual challenges.
November 27, 2011 was supposed to be a day of celebration of a wonderful first year of marriage, instead it was a day to mark a new chapter of my testimony. My life has changed drastically since that afternoon in November when I walked in the door from the beach, and I paused for a moment and look at my phone in the hallway at home before going to the bathroom. Before I knew it I collapsed. I had no comprehension of collapsing to the floor other than mere shock, and sheer pain running through my body, I was in a lunge position on the floor and straight on my left knee cap. I immediately called for help “Ma-Ma-Matthew I think I broke my leg!!!” Matthew ran to help me, I rolled to my back still in shock by the pain. The plan of action was to call my parents, wait for their arrival, and let them help take me out to car and head to the hospital.
After arriving to CMC Northeast, I was admitted into the hospital due to weakness, tingling, and feelings of pins and needles in my legs and feet. Days later, after testing I was given the news I had neuropathy. Neuropathy is nerve and muscle damage. This damage was detected through a nerve conduction test and EMG, the cause for this damage was unknown. Words could not express what I felt other than the fact that I felt lost, and heart broken. The pain I felt from the neuropathy hurt, but my heart broke because I had to give up a part of my life, and put my life on hold due to the damage that had been done. A week later from the date I had originally fell, I collapsed once more. I collapsed in front of a nurse who strived to do her best for me. When I collapsed the second time, I felt scared to even walk again, a part of me was shutting down but no matter what I had an amazing neurologist pushing me to get up and walk and nurses encouraging me.
In addition to the problems with falling for the second time, I was having extreme migraines and had just came through a surgery for a nerve biopsy. My pain levels were out of control, on top of my pain levels I was being transferred by car to Stanly Regional for their rehab program in their physical therapy unit. Needless to say my first day of rehab was horrible and the second day until after I received a blood patch. My blood patch was a blessing because I saw my regular neurologist while I was in physical therapy, he realized I had a slow spinal leak 10 days after my spinal tap. My third day and there after my physical therapy was amazing and my migraines were gone! Praise the Lord!
Total I was in the hospital 18 days, meaning I got to come home a week before Christmas in the year of 2011. I was so thankful, the year 2011 I had an amazing Christmas! God provided everything that I needed, and most of all I got to spend Christmas with my church family, Harvest Church. Simply Amazing! December 29, 2011, I get word from my second nerve conduction and EMG that my nerve damage and muscle damage had shown itself and that the damage was greatly worse than the first conduction study that was performed.
2012 begins, shortly beginning the year I return to the hospital increasing pain and numbness in my right arm had occurred. The neurologist wanted to complete more testing geared toward auto immune diseases since in November I had a nutritional work-up and checked out healthy. During this time in the hospital, there were no new findings concerning my health, however my neurologists were working towards arranging an appointment at the Duke clinic.
While waiting for my appointment at Duke, I continually asked God about my health. I cried, I didn’t understand, and I wanted to know my purpose while I was waiting. I was losing my position at work, I didn’t know how to provide for my husband while he was in school full time and only working part-time. At this point our savings was going down the drain, and I had absolutely no control. It was then that I had to realize that God had to have the control not Paige. God kept telling me He wanted all of me. It was then that I started to realize that I needed to change my attitude and the way that I looked at everything around me. God blessed me in a way that I could never imagine.
During this journey, I have learned more about working with my individuals which for those of you who do not know me as well, I worked at GHA Autism Supports. I absolutely loved my job, and each of the individuals I served. As I have walked through this process, I have learned more about them in the way that I have always taught individuals how to live, but in this experience I have had someone teach me how to live. I had to learn how to walk again, how to pick things up off the floor, cook, clean, you name it I have to learn to take care of myself all over again.
In addition, I have been blessed because my God has been my provider. He has provided me with the strength to walk again, to learn things all over again, and modify my life in a new way. Also, He has provided a way for me to continue to lose weight; so far I have lost 113 pounds. He has also provided my husband and I with a wonderful support system through prayers from family and friends. We are so thankful for everyone in our lives, and we are believers in the power of prayer and healing.
Now, for the diagnoses from Duke, Duke was just as puzzled as CMC Northeast and Northeast Neurology. My diagnosis was lumbosacral neuropathy, which is neuropathy in my lower back and pelvic region where the nerve bundles are. In addition, I have neuropathy at the brachial plexus on the left side of my body or near the shoulder, and there are two abnormal muscles in my left arm. My prognosis is ranging from a year to 18 months, which has been determined by Duke. As for the cause, all the health care providers are stumped. They cannot determine a cause due to fact I am nutritionally healthy; I was not in an accident; no trauma occurred; and I was not and am not a diabetic. In all of this, I believe God is a healer, and He has already begun the healing. Duke has said the healing has begun. So, I am going to praise God through it all!
As I continue to walk through this chapter of my life, please pray for my husband and I. Pray that God will ultimately heal me, my pain will be reduced day to day, and that God will provide for my husband and I. Over the course of time, I will be going through testing and physical therapy to rebuilding my muscles. Thank you in advance for all your prayers, and thank you for reading about my journey.
Many Blessings!
-Paige Smith
Wedding:
We got married on November 27, 2010
Read about our wedding here
Honeymoon:
We spent our Honeymoon in Servierville, TN. Matthew wrote about it in his blog.
My bridal portraits have been posted online.
You may view them in our online gallery or on Facebook.
Wedding photos will be posted as soon as we receive them back from the photographer. If you would like to be notified when the photos are posted, send Matthew an email and let him know.
Engagement Photos have been posted on MatthewAndPaige.com and Facebook.
Wedding Information (location, registry, etc.) can be found at http://matthewandpaige.com/wedding/
-Matthew and Paige
Bridal Shower Photos have been posted on MatthewAndPaige.com and Facebook.
Wedding Information (location, registry, etc.) can be found at http://matthewandpaige.com/wedding/
-Matthew and Paige
Lilly Sophia Knotts was born July 30, 2010 at 10:25p. She weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and measured 20.75 inches long. She was born at the Presbyterian Hospital in Charlotte, NC.
Click here to view her photo album.
Matthew and I need to collect contact information from our family and friends so that we can send out wedding invitations.
To do so, please go to http://matthewandpaige.com/wedding/
There are many times in our lives when we get caught up in our circumstances and become burdened by the events happening in our lives. Recently I was a senior in an interpreting program, a program that I loved deeply. Of all the time that I had been in college, I had forgotten the REAL reason I was in the classes to begin with! I was there for communication purposes, and to use the language I learned to further communication with clients who I hope to work with in the future. At the time that everything was crashing around me, I forgot who I was and what God was really doing in my life. I felt like I was in a wilderness just like the Israelites. I was weak, and I was tired. But God had a plan for me, and the weekend before I left the interpreting program I was broken inside, my heart was torn. I had no more strength in me to fight; I kept pushing myself through the program. (I will never forget the interpreting program and all my wonderful teachers and friends.) I had lost sight of what God had originally planned for me, and that was to learn sign language as a form of communication so that later I could use the language as an aid in working with clients with developmental disabilities. God has given me a passion deep within my heart to love and want to work with anyone who has special needs.
As my heart was torn, and I was longing for an answer from God, I began to pray: “God, please show me what you want me to do…I put my trust in You…” Now as simple as my prayers were that weekend, I still had NO CLUE what to expect for the upcoming week, all I knew was my life was in God’s hands. On October 19th, 2009, I approached my instructor before class to inform her of the events that had taken place over the weekend; it was then that I realized what I needed to do. God had given me the courage that I needed, and the peace in knowing that He was in control of my life. It was then that I told my instructor that I would be giving my last presentation. After leaving the school that day, I was driving down the road thinking that I had messed up! It wasn’t until I was almost home that I received a message from my dear friend, Deborah, she wrote: “Paige, God will fit life’s puzzle together for you…and He will turn your mourning into dancing”. I thought to myself, WOW! I can’t believe this! This is it! God has a plan for me! Immediately, I felt relieved and amazed by God at the same time. FINALLY, I had let God take control of my life. Well…yes the first week was really easy to say that…but the second week came and the weeks that followed. It wasn’t until I received a book for my 21st birthday that I received the REAL picture! The book is absolutely AMAZING…I highly recommend it! It is called “God Built” by Steve Farrar. (The book was given to me by my friend Curtis. By the way, many thanks for that book! Love it!) The book is about the life of Joseph, and the book walks you through his life as a slave and the providence of God in his life.
As I was reading in “God Built”, I was still plowing my way through the Old Testament reading about the Israelites and their struggles in the wilderness. Now, we all know that we have different seasons in our live, but the season that I had been in was definitely a wilderness for me. On top of giving up the interpreting program (which I loved), I had lost two of my grandparents within a year, my sister had difficulties getting pregnant, I had problems with a sibling, financial issues, health issues…you name it…well it problem happened in some way, shape, or form. I was walking in the hardest time of my life! But just like the Israelites, I made it out of the wilderness…and now I am seeing God’s plans for me. I will be getting married November 27, 2010; my sister is pregnant; other parts of my family is growing with new additions of babies; I am getting healthy; I am focusing on Human Services for Developmental Disabilities; and most of all I am happy! I am blessed! I have finally started to reach what God had promised me for my life! I know it isn’t always easy but God has a plan for you…just ask Him!
